i just miss the old clumsy syira!

Being a long time never update bout us..today 23/5/09 0200hrs
On friday special syira like to listen mysteri jam 12.she really looking foward to tis program and willing to listen no matter wat..12midnite the show will start and i will count down for 30min and she will fall asleep..haiz...i realise she turning 23yrs old getting old so the body system not so strong..she not like me and qistina we like to drink milk..hehehe...

She being busy with her skool work as usual teachers..she willing to give me some her ime to be with me..i really happy with it..but sometime rite i pity also..but sometimes rite she take advancestage.hehe..it okey..u my lover..i have love u inside my heart bayb!although my eyes wonder around but my heart and soul belong to u!love you so much!!

i will try my best to get a stable job..da ur dad bahase kan i..takpe..i cant force to be rich or wat..when time come i will start to do praying..insyallah..

not matter what happend i will be strong with you...be my drug syg!!

love you always...muack!!!Muack!

The loss of a life

How funny it is that the loss of our beloved pet has stir up alot of emotions in me.

You see, we have a baby lovebird which we call Rocky.He was really a fine lad i tell you. When we first got him, he was only a month old. He didnt even noe how to swallow properly.But aniways, he was our joy. When i called him, i would be asking what is the bird doing.

Then come this fateful night when we were fighting. He just finish feeding him and was patting him. (He didnt burp.Are they suppose to??). Somehow, we ended up having a very bad conversation that lead to him throwing the poor little soul on the floor. Mind you, he didnt even know how to fly. I was freaking shock and amazed as to how aggressive he could be, venting his anger to the poor bird. Without hesitation, i picked the poor thing up, went up to him and punched his back. Nothing can be worse to what i was feeling at that moment. He dont deserve to be thrown on the floor and i will never forgive him for that. (Dont worry, still love you though).

Minutes later, Rocky was already limping. So we went to the avian vet and got him checked out. He had a blood clot at the leg and was given medication. He was really feeling unwell the next few days without any ounce of energy or appetite. But it was such a short lived relief when he was starting to get better and wasnt limping animore. I remembered the few days before it died, he was walking around the couch area, looking so happy. Until that day when he suddenly went vege again and we brought him to the vet again. This time, it was not only the swollen leg but he couldnt open his eyes. The words the doc said really set mi hart pumping.

"Im sorry but he looks like a really sick bird to me. You really have to be prepared for it."

I was really holding back mi tears and fears man. He was given antibiotics after the consultation and we were really praying hard that he will pull thru.

The night before he died, he was really very active. We were getting optimistic cos he was getting to his usual self. The very next morn, bf called and said that Rocky is suddenly too sick to even have a spoonful of his food. Minutes after that, he died. Somehow, while i was having mi shower and getting donned to go to his place to take a look at Rocky, I have the strangest feeling that im unable to take a look at him alive for the last time.

BF said he died while BF was holding him in his hands. He chirped for the last time and stayed quiet with his eyes half open. There was tears rolling down the face of the poor soul. Maybe it was trying hard to stay alive since morn and wanted to see bf for the last time.

I couldnt stop crying upon reaching his place and buried Rocky there after. Its funny how a small bird could stir up so many emotions that i didnt know i had for him. Every time i look at the big empty cage and the toys that was actually for him lying around, tears will start to well up in my eyes. Sob2.

Now the cage is converted into another lovely home for Princess, our new lovebird. Shes older and easier to take care of. She is exactly the same colour as Rocky and as noisy as when we first got him.

May you rest in peace, Rocky.

NO MATTER WHAT I STILL LOVE YOU

FINALLY I COMPLETE MT STUDIES FOR 2YRS N 6MTH..WHAT A LONG JOURNEY....
PAST FEW DAYS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAVE STUCK WITH MINOR PROBLEM N BECOME BIG PROBLEM..I THE ONE ALWAYS MAKE BIG HUUHAAA..HEHEHE,I ALWAY AS MYSELF SHE THE ONE AND ONLY IN MY HEART..NO MATTER WAT HAPPEND TO US I STILL FORGIV HER..COZ I NOE EVERY PPL IN TIS WORLD IS NOT BORN TO BE PREFECT..LIFE PART OF PUZZLE.NOW MY NEXT TARGET TO GET SERIOUS CAREER BY END OF TIS MONTH N SUPPORT MY FAMILY N HER IN THE FUTURE..BAYBAY I LOVE U SO MUCH NO MATTER WAT HAPPEND OKEY..PLS STOP SAYING ALL THE STUPIT THING OR BAD FEEBACK DAT REALLY HURT MY FEELING..U NOE I REALLY FRAGILE RITE?HEHHE

LOVELY CUTEY BAAY

Blessed Life

What a wonderful time it has been since Hari Raya.

Firstly i was accepted to join the teaching force (after soooooooOOooooo much hartache and tears and sweat). All the prayers and the determination paid off..alhamdulillah.

Updates of us, we are now happily together. Sure there are fights and all that but i couldn't repel away from the relationship no matter how hard i tried. He's all that i have. My entertainment, my joker (which includes the evil tricks as well), my light at the end of the tunnel and my beating bag. Nyeheh. His familia visited my house during Raya and boy was i slapped in the face. I finally realised that this is one of the step to..... My gosh, i am getting old. Marriage was not in my priority list and recently i was thinking of how much i need to save for marriage! M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E. Now that's a word that ive been avoiding like a live roach.

And o ya. We have a new addition to the family. He's a lovebird. Truly small and magnificient. The reason being he makes us go to all extend to really take care of him. He makes us talk and act funny as well. You see, he's just 2 months old and all the fur is still growing in process. He needs to be handfed and given dark and warm accomodation. He is still learning to walk properly. But thanks to someone, he was thrown from the hand to the floor without any fault of his. Totally heartbreaking to see a little creature like him got abused like that. Right B???? i shall make the abuser as guilty as possible. Before i forget, this special baby that we have is named Rocky. Don't ask me why the name is as such. Made us think funny too.

Oh well, life has been good to me so far but like the life of a stockbreaker (that includes you Lehmann), there are good and bad times. Lets hope that this will last long enough to make the bad times good as well. Lets stop here before i go crapping further.

I really need to go back to school before i go braindead.

Is it just me or is....

Phew! What a weekend! In both good and bad ways.

Last Saturday, my cousin, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and me were breaking fast at New Hawa Restaurant & Cafe (crappy) at the Waterloo Branch. For those who are unaware of what the place is about, it is "Singapore's First Halal Authentic Steamboat" that is sure to tantalise your taste buds. My a**, they should really change to "Ripping Your Patience And Make You Swear in this blessed Ramadan month".

When we stepped into the restaurant, the makcik over the counter was already nagging to us about the reservation that was cancelled which took up i think only 20% of the whole place. The place is not big, mind you. Which was not a good way to greet your customers who are mentally and physically drained. Emotional drained for me cos ive gotta be more patient since i ROAR most of the time.

so back to the story, he was pissed off for having to listen to her and asked her to shut her trap and showed us our reserved table. From the time we have our big and tired butts sat on the chair, there was really no one that attended to us. i have to personally go over the counter to make my own queries. That said, the other couple finally reached. When we wanted to place an order, once again nobody was there to take our orders. This time round, Faizah & bf were the ones to go over the counter and order.

Azan is already on the radio and its time for us to break our fast. Our drinks are not here and neither are our food. What pissed me off the most was that the family that came AFTER us were happily digging in. So he went over to the counter again. This auntie then came over and the words that came outta her mouth were unbelievable.

"Im sorry i forgot".

I feel like punching her face in and out and this is for real man. Half and hour of waiting for nothing. My hands were shaking and felt light at the same time (i think i was restraining myself to give her face a good blue black). She really were testing our patience. Anger really took over me and left no traces of courtesy and Ms Nicey. I raised my voice and threatened to walk away and not even pay for the drinks that they sent 5 mins ago.

It was not even 1 minute after my outburst and suddenly the food we ordered come from different directions. Crappy shit service. And don't get me started abt the rice incident. Ok i shall start abt it. We ordered the chicken rice instead of plain rice. When the rice came, it was all plain rice. Hello!!!!!!!! One stupid crap after another.

Well, this is another story which happened on the next day.

Me and 5 other galfriends were planning to break our fast together at Geylang. But only my best friend and me were there, so we went to book a place. The food centre at Haig Rd was very packed and they opened new tables earlier than expected. So we booked a table and told the Indian guy that we would be expecting 4 other people to join us. And he replied, "I would only open the table when they are here".

What the fark! So can you tell me whats the point of reservation again? He really defeated the purpose! What got on my nerves was he kept coming over and kept askin where are the rest. Then, the other 2 came and we placed an order first. after a few minutes, he came over and asked, "So where are the other 2??".

I swear i wanted to stand up and knock his head with the chair. What's the freakin diff now since all the tables are taken up?? Without much hesitation, i shouted back at him,"They are on the way. Do you think im a freakin liar?!". He then walked away. What's your freaking prob ASS? You don't have to vent your frustration on us just becos you didn't get it last night!!

Im such a nicey nice nice and situations like this made me nasty. So service people, beware. If you're out there to test my patience, teh retort would be even worse than what you know now. Just hope and pray that you will not see me on your bad day.

okey...

woow..okey seem u just update the blog few days ago only..

So we been thru a lot of silliy mistake dat i make..not her..she prefect..rite syg..

k lah seem u still wan spent ur time n enjoy the single thing kan..okey..i make other path for me too..seem no ready for u to tunang by next year next two year..or wat..hmmm...it okey..i dunno force u..later ur frens tot i wat kan...hmmm..i dun understand..i think u dun wan make any booking on me 1st or u hav no readdy wth me..ur mind ur heart is no me the final person yet to come...so let it be..i think i make the choice to fast...i cant do anything..my target it u 1st n the last to be...i need other hand to clap..but u not willing to giv it..i will wait till ur hand reach to me..i cant say anymore..althought i always meet u..i ask myself to sincere n love as much as i can..as time goes by..i seem u got alot thing to avoid from me..n i just keep it to myself..i just to much for u..it hard for me do thing like tiz..i just pray hard to Allah for our own future n health ..LOVE u so much!!!sometime i try to be in ur shoe..i understand wat u wan n etc..i just make n early kick-off wth u..sad for me..muack!!!i being learning ur peragai very time we happy n sad or fight..sometime in tiz life i learnt lot of gif n take..n never do a stupit thing to people or they will forgiv n CANT forgeT...sometime outsider trying make up story or telling the truth i dunno..sometime i feel ashamed to my fren bcoz not to listen to them..but my heart trust the love ones..muack!!!!love u till my end of life!!

It has been awhile since ive even log in here and update to whoever's interested to have a sneak peek into our colourful lives. But oh well.

Time has been on our side this month without any real fights happening. We were able to get our heads and hands together and take charge of the relationship. But there was an issue of the future together. u see, i am so not ready to go into thinking about engagement and marriage. I prefer to let nature take its course. There are still so many things that i want to do.

Travel, shop till the next paycheck, no real responsibilities and all that singles' stuff. Furthermore, im really against all this engagement thing and just go straight to the point and get married. So there was a point of time when we were talking about all this stuff then he still insisted that we get engaged in a year time. I was really dissapointed, but i told him that its all about compromise. If im willing to get engaged although im not into all that stuff, he should be supportive too for whatever decision that i make.

But whatever it is, i have decided to stick to him for the rest of my live even if it kills me.

A lil anti climax but i shall try harder next post aite. My mind's too tired to even think of the next thing to sayy......zzzzzzzz

u duN miSS the WatEr tiLL the weLL runS drY

I would like to say THANK YOU to mi baby for being there for me all this while.

For throwing me a wonderful birthday which was packed with prizes and surprises.

For putting me on stage and embarass the ass out of me.

For tolerating me and my forever existing temper and yet be able to pull me out through the tangled anger strings.

For making me laugh when i need it the most.

And last but not least, for loving me with all your heart.

My baby, i know that i may not be the best person to be with but please bear with me as im still undergoing construction to restructure the feelings and crappiness inside of me. However, i hope that you could work out your issues of insecurity and nonsensical ideas of me and we shall work towards betterment. (cedebah..we go baby!)

But i can never imagine the day when you won't be here with me. It's like ant without sugar. Like tea without teabag. Like you without food. Like me without Finorati. Like you without bulu mata panjang2. Lost.

i guess i have to start counting my blessings and cherish every second when im with you. Cos you will not miss the water till the well runs dry.

xOxO

hApPy tO sAd, saD tO haPPy,sad sad happy HAPPY!!

All i can say is...

I LOVE YOU SINCE WE WHERE TOGETHER ON 09/12/07 till now..

sYG PLs STop SAyING bOUT BE APART..U WAN?

I VERY SAD DAT DAE..UR FRENS MAKE AND EFFORT ON UR BDAE PARTY ADVANCE AT SENTOSA BUT U STILL SAD..

UR FREN N I PLAN SO HARD..U GIF THE SHIT FACE..HAHA..

BT I NOE DAT THE WORSE DAE I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE..

U LEFT ME ALONE WITH NO WAN TALK TO ME..

U TELL UR FRENS I WTH U TK ADE PAPE.. :<

U JUST LEFT ME ALONE AT THE SIDE..

MY HEART FEEL SHIT..BE PATIENTS WTH U IT VERY HARD..(IT PART OF LIFE)

I THINK U NEED TO LEARNT TO CONTROL URSELF..

NOT GOOD TAU SAYANG FOR OUR FUTURE LIKE TIZ..

I HOPE U CAN SEE N FEEL HW MUCH I LOVE U!!!

LIKE YOU NEVER HAVE BEFORE..

B SYG WE GO FOR TUNANG DEN MARRY OKEY?MARRY IN 4 YRS TIME??

:> LOVE U SO MUCH!!

This is the time Baby

This would be the time
When everything would be against us
When our love will have to stand the test of time
When the birds won't chirp anymore.

This would be the time
When tension will be all around us Baby
When we truly need each other
When wise decisions will have to be made.

This would be the time
When hard work will reap its rewards late
When sadness will bound our way
When obstacles are everywhere.

And so Baby
This would be the time
Our love will have to be strong enough
To stand against the current.
This would be the time
We will have to be there for each other
no matter what happens.

I love you Baby with all my might
Apologies if i have mood swings, you should understand why.

xOxO